Swat Mosquitoes, Stop and Listen to Your Feelings
What Mosquitoes Can Teach You About Anxiety (And Other Unwanted Feelings)
When I was a kid, I hated mosquitoes with a red, hot passion. I was allergic to them, so every bite turned into a giant welt that stayed for days and days. I once told an uncle of mine I wished mosquitoes never existed. My uncle acknowledged my disdain, then he raised an eyebrow and said: “They’re here for a reason.” I couldn’t fathom one single purpose for the annoying insect, so my uncle proceeded to explain their importance in our food chain, helping with pollination, acting as a food source for birds and bats, and preserving aquatic ecosystems.
If I told you this information was the start of a deep love I have for mosquitoes, I would be lying. Somehow though, knowing their sole purpose on the planet wasn’t to torment humans (more specifically, me) did take some of the sting out of my annoyance.
Unwelcome feelings can be like mosquitoes.
Anxiety, depression and anger are the feelings most people come into my office to rid themselves of. I often hear how these feelings cause someone to behave in ways they wouldn’t normally. Or that these feelings weigh people down preventing them from doing anything—causing them to get stuck. I can understand why people hate these feelings with a red, hot passion and wish they never existed. But just like mosquitoes, all feelings—even anxiety, depression and anger—are here for a reason.
Anxiety can highlight what’s important to us, sharpening our focus and motivating us to take action. If you haven’t started preparing for a big project at work, you might feel a pang of anxiety about your job security. That feeling then becomes the driving force that prompts you to get to work. In fact, researchers who track anxiety found that just the right amount of anxiety can boost performance on a variety of tasks—this amount of anxiety is known as the “sweet spot.” However, these researchers also found that too much or too little anxiety had the opposite effect on performance.
This same “sweet spot” theory might apply to the other unwelcome feelings. The right amount of depression may encourage you to slow down and reflect, allowing you to gain insight and grow from your experiences. Too much depression could cause you to get stuck in an inward gaze, making it nearly impossible for you to see or feel anything else. With no amount of depression, you might never reflect on experiences and miss the opportunity for growth.
Anger too can be helpful in the right amount. It can protect and propel you to stand up for yourself or others. But too much of it might ignite destructive behavior. Not enough might leave you susceptible to danger. It was, in fact, my anger toward mosquitoes that propelled me to swat at them and go get the can of Deep Woods Off, effectively limiting the number of bites I got.
Listening is Key
Something else my uncle taught me about mosquitoes is they like to nest in standing water. In fact, he said a spike in the number of mosquitoes in his yard once sent him on a hunt for sources of standing water. What he found was a leaky pipe in his shed that, when repaired, led to a lower water bill. So, my uncle believed the mosquitoes actually saved him money by alerting him to the leak. (I think that’s giving the mosquitoes an awful lot of credit.)
Still. Not. Loving. Mosquitoes. But, I do like the idea of mosquitoes acting as an indicator to signal a problem. If my uncle hadn’t paid attention to the growing number of mosquitoes in his yard, that leaky pipe would have spilled out more water for more even mosquitoes to breed. Before long, there would have been an infestation.
When feelings are in the “sweet spot,” they can also signal us to a problem that needs our attention—we just have to be willing to listen. Pay attention to your feelings and take the time to figure out what they are signaling. Once you figure it out, you can take action and your feelings will move on. Ignore your feelings though, and you’ll create a breeding ground for them to grow. Before long, there’ll be an infestation.
About the author:
Betsy Stephens, LSW: Betsy Stephens is a Licensed Social Worker in New Jersey. She practices at Verne Psychotherapy and Wellness LLC. Her specialties include treating Trauma/Post Traumatic Stress, OCD, ADHD, Bipolar Disorder, Stress, Anxiety, and Depression. Betsy uses Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness-based psychotherapy, and strengths-based approaches in her therapeutic work. She enjoys helping her clients find the best version of themselves.
